Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I just sucked dick on a ferry
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
