I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Send help, water and tortillas.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
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