You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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