He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
