Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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