You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
