im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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