Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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