fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize