i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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