With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
