Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
