I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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