Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
we're so committed to being not committed
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
