Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
