i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
