I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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