No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
