I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
