i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
