that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize