K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
