playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
