She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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