Im at strip club and am horny
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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