nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
