My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
