i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize