He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
