capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
