I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
