everyone is single if you try hard enough
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
