I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
