so explain again why im purple
no
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
