We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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