I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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