I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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