ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
