Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
