Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize