8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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