your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
