Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
