i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize