its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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