you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize