It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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