At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
