what if every blade of grass was a penis?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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