whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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