You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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