grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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