No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
