the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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