I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
