Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
