Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
