Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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