And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
