Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
