singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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