What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
