she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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