brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
