dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
