how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
