should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
There r osticjed everywhere
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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